"Will You Wear the Dress?" Cards

I wanted to send something cute and personal to my bridal party members. I loved the idea of being formally invited to participate in a wedding by receiving a letter or card in the mail. One of my girlfriends sent me one when she got married and I thought it was just so sweet and touching and personal. And being a DIY bride, I felt it was the perfect project to tackle on my own.

I knew I wanted to have my bridal party wear black tea-length dresses, so I found some cute pictures online to use in my card. Then I found a different dress that represented the different bridal party roles (ie., bridesmaid, junior bridesmaid, and flower girl). Using powerpoint, I inserted the pictures and other decorative touches, and created the wording for the card. I put two cards to a sheet, and used a paper cutter to cut the pages in half. For return address labels, I used regular Avery labels. In Microsoft Word, I designed the labels using the same artwork from the card on the labels. Here are some pictures of the finished products.

I used a black envelope and a silver, metallic gel ink pen to write the address on the front of the envelope. I just loved creating something personal using materials that I pretty much had on hand. And even more, I loved the reactions that I got from my bridal party members when they got their cards in the mail.

{ Junior Bridesmaid Card }

{ Flower Girl Card }

{ Bridesmaid Card }

Tips for Photographer Shopping

Selecting a photographer for one of the most important events in your life is not a task to be taken lightly. And quite frankly, it can be a pretty stressful decision process. You want a photographer that captures just the right moments from just the right angle in just the right lighting. You want this person to capture emotions, small touches, and interactions. And a moment missed is a moment missed. You can’t recreate it or recapture it.

You also have to consider style. Each photographer has a different style, a different eye, and a different end product. As somebody untrained in photography, I don’t know hot to tell somebody who seems to capture the right moments that her pictures are too dark and serious. All I know to do is pick the person who has pictures in their portfolio that I like.

And finally, the most important factor in picking any vendor for your wedding is how to they impact your budget. You can find photographers, especially people trying to build their portfolio, that will do your wedding for $500. You can find somebody that has pretty good experience, who will do your wedding for $1,000. Or you can find somebody that’s an excellent photographer, that will have a starting wedding package at $2,000. This is when it’s important to weigh what you want with what you can afford. I have spent hours and hours and hours researching photographers, sending emails, and requesting information. I have my top five but I haven’t been able to find the balance of desires versus budget as yet.

A couple of photographers have provided me with some great insight while doing my search for a wedding photographer. These are some bits of advice that I may not have known otherwise.

From Nafa at Judah Avenue Photography when discussing dark, serious pictures versus light, quirky pictures:
[Sometimes] darkness or richness is added in post production and is called contrast or saturation and can be emphasized when set against a dark background. Sometimes it can also occur if exposure is not properly managed but [a photographer can also…] enhance colors in post production by increasing saturation. My personal preference is for fresh, vibrant and crisp photos, some other people like dark, moody and dramatic. Sometimes I just ask brides to let me know what style of picture retouching they like, send me sample photos, and I just duplicate it for them with Photoshop.

I wanted to leave you with a few things to look out for when picking a photographer. Look for someone who has an eye to capture special moments and the creativity to enhance them. For example, there are many ways to shoot a couple on a mere simple street by use of special angles, camera effects, positioning etc. A good professional will use the street itself as a great prop to tell a beautiful picture while a more conventional photographer will only shoot you standing there on the street. Colors can be adjusted during editing to produce the desired effect. It is much better to choose a photographer on their ability to take a good picture rather than on the editing process because you can always find someone who’s editing style you like to process your pictures however you will not be able to retake those photos after the day is gone. This is where photographers are sometimes able to negotiate because, for example, after shooting the wedding, I may offer to retouch or edit only 10 pictures for an $800 package or edit 35 for a $1500 package, it varies.

From Carmen Wang from Carmen Wang Studio offers the following advice for shopping for a wedding photographer:
It is your BIG day and you have to trust your photographer to capture every precious moment for you. There is no second chance to re-shoot so it is REALLY important to choose the right photographer. Here are some tips to help you:

1. Consistency. Hire a photographer with for more than 10 wedding photography experience. Make sure that you have seen at least 3 complete weddings from the photographer. Each wedding must have at least 100 high quality shots. This will REALLY give you an idea of what the photographer will offer for your wedding. Having a few romantic posed shots are totally
different from weddings which are fast-paced and allow no re-shooting.

2. Low light shots. Most reception places and churches are dark. Plus no flash is allowed during certain ceremonies. Make sure you check low-light photos or night photos in such conditions by the photographer; this is always the best indication of the photographer’s experiences and qualification.

3. Pricing. There are two major pricing models. One is to charge the service of taking the shots, and provide you with digital copies. The other model is to charge minimum for service but charge a LOT more for prints. Ask whether you will get high-resolution digital copies to make personal prints. Always ask for total price to avoid any hidden costs. Rule of thumb is that you get what you pay for.

4. Personality. An easy-going and happy photographer is a big plus for your wedding. You really do not want some bossy photographers to interrupt you too often for shots. We strongly recommend that you meet with your photographer before you make ANY decisions. You may
schedule an engagement session before you sign the wedding photography contract. This way you will know a lot about the photographer.

5. Backup. If you have a big wedding, make sure you hire 2 experienced photographers to catch every precious moment from different angles. Some studios offer 2 photographers but one may be an just assistant who knows little about photography.

Free: We Love That Word

Does this need anymore introduction?? As a D-I-Y bride, there is no better four letter word than F-R-E-E! Here are some great things I’ve found that I would love to pass on!

{1 - Free Martha Stewart Stuff }

Everyone knows that Martha Stewart is the queen of all things that involve hostessing and party planning. She is the ultimate perfectionist and does not skimp on those little adorable touches that make your event unique. A DIY bride can make use of many of the templates offered on her website at:

http://www.marthastewartweddings.com/photogallery/decoration-templates.

{ 2 - Free 2010 Desk Calendar Template }

Need an adorable calendar for your desk to count down the days to the big day? Want a cool gift to give to your wedding party so that they can count down with you? Make it yourself using this easy template from Ruffled blog:

http://ruffledblog.com/2009/11/free-printable-2010-desk-calendar/

{ 3 - Free Save the Date Card }

Save the Dates don't have to be complicated. Wedding Chicks offer a simple but chic DIY photo Save the Date card where you can upload your favorite photo and pick the template with your wedding month using this DIY freebie:

http://www.weddingchicks.com/tag/diy-save-the-date/

{ 4 - Free Fonts }
Great fonts are a must for DIY invitations, save the dates, wedding favors, programs, etc. Download free fonts like this Adine Kirnberg font, til your heart’s desire at: http://www.fontfreak.com/fonts-a.htm.

{ 5 - Free Damask Invitation Set }

If you’re planning on doing your own invitations, this chic damask invitation set offered by Mujka is a great option:
http://shop.mujka.ca/freebies/free-damask-wedding-invitation-set/prod_315.html

The First Option Doesn't Always Make the Best Choice

The wedding planning process is definitely a learning experience. There are endless numbers of people and businesses offering various services to brides with varying tastes and budgets. From $500 photographers to budget-friendly BBQ caterers, there are tons and tons of options for wedding service providers.

One thing I've learned throughout my planning process is that the first great provider that comes along (a) may not be as great as they seem and (b) may not be right for my particular function.

Caterer:
I thought I had hit the jackpot when I found a caterer offering paella and cilantro steak for prices starting at $9.50 per person! INCLUDING all related sides! I couldn't wait to arrange a food tasting and sign a contract! The company was super accomodating and friendly and offered four entrees that feeds four people complimentary, and even opened on a Sunday just for me. I arranged for my bridal committee to get together at my place to sample what I knew was going to be a good meal. I was so sad to find out that the food tasted a slight step above frozen microwaved meals. I tried to make myself enjoy it because I just wanted so badly to mark something off my to-do list at such an affordable price. But no matter how badly I wanted to secure this caterer, I had to pass.

Photographer:
I was stunned to discover that wedding photography costs so much! But after my endless internet searching and seeing how beautiful wedding photos can be, I had set the bar pretty high for what I want in my wedding photographer. Eclectic, unique photos to capture those special moments and touches of my day, that's what I want. So when I perused craigslist and found a local photographer that described her services as just that, I was excited that she was giving away free engagement sessions! Sign me up! We picked out our outfits, selected a local botanical garden, and did our modeling. As we were being photographed, there was no way I thought this could go wrong! Once we said goodbye to the photograher, I requested that she send me her wedding pricelist because I just knew she would be the one! The problem was that her professionalism was not quite up to par, and once we finally received the engagement photos...I was disappointed to say the least. How could a great backdrop like the garden, and this fly dress come out looking so BAD??? She took HUNDREDS of pictures and I could barely pick out 13 pictures that I thought were just OK. And it's been four months, and after three requests, I still never received her wedding price list. No matter how great it was to have a free engagement session, and should I have seen her price list, even if it was super affordable, it's not worth it if you end up with an unprofessional photographer and pictures that you are not pleased with.

Dress Vendor:
For the bride, the dress is pretty darn important. It can also be the one thing, aside from the venue and catering, that hijacks the budget. For me, I don't need a $5,000 dress. I don't even need a $500 dress. I would prefer to spend less than $200 on a dress if I can work it. But...I also like something that makes the dress unique. I have nothing against simplicity, but I'd prefer a style that stands out and offers something unique. So managing a budget versus taste, it can get hard to find that balance. One option that has been extremely tempting is getting a dress custom made from one of the many Chinese dress wholesalers. A bride will send their measurements, pay a couple hundred dollars, and get a dress that looks just like your favorite Gossip Girl's. Now...that's the ideal situation. What you cannot be certain of is whether the dress will look like what you imagine, whether they will use the fabrics they promise, or whether the dress will come in the promised timeframe. Because the U.S. doesn't have any jurisdiction in China, there really are few guarantees. Feedback on these various sites is a little hard to rely on. It's hard to know whether the feedback is from actual customers or from the company posing as customers. There's also no way of knowing whether all feedback had been posted or if only the positive feedback. It truly is a gamble dealing with these overseas manufacturers. Depending on how much money is in your budget and how much lead time you have before your wedding, the gamble may be worth it.

When selecting your vendors, your budget should be an important consideration. Stay mindful of the tone you want to set for your wedding, the moments you want to capture, and the things that are too important to skimp on. While I want things to look perfect, it just isn't important to me whether I have the flyest dress on the market or a four tier, butter cream cake of perfection. I want a unique dress and even if it's free...my cake needs to be yummy.

The Party

Choosing the members of your wedding party is a task that should not be taken lightly. These people play an important role in your wedding day and in supporting the bride all through the preparation process. A bride needs to know that her maid of honor will be her right, and sometimes her left, hand. She needs to know that her ushers won't be MIA when Aunt Nellie shows up and needs assistance using her walker to get to her seat. With so many things that need to be orchestrated, you need to know that your party members are reliable and able to take on the tasks that they are assigned.

The Dynamic:
Group dynamics are really important. A bride needs to know she isn't putting together a group of people that will end up bickering and battling through the entire wedding process, because that ends up being additional stress on the bride that she really doesn't need. The bigger the party, the bigger the chances are for chaos.
One approach that seems popular is to keep the bridal party down to a small, intimate bunch. I've even seen no bridal party at all, or maybe just one maid of honor and one best man and that's it. This isn't a bad idea. The truth of the matter is...you really don't need an army of people in order to pull off a wedding. So keeping things to a minimum can actually be less stress than having ten girls with ten different tastes ready to help you out.

The Mission:
When selecting your party, it's important that you select people, be it two or twenty, that know what the mission is, and that is supporting the bride and groom in whatever way they need up to and on the wedding day. Not to diminish anyone, but the wedding just isn't about the bridal party. And everybody needs to be on board with that concept.

The Commitment:
Everybody has a life. You must keep that in mind when selecting your bridal party. A bride wants the members to feel as honored to be in the wedding party as she is to have them in the wedding party. With people having busy schedules and children and careers and lives, your wedding will probably not be the very top priority on anybody else's list except yours. But the last thing you want to think is that your wedding is a huge inconvenience for somebody in your wedding party. Organizing dress fittings and bridal showers then feels like an imposition instead of something that somebody eagerly wants to do. If you are the kind of bride to be tuned into feelings, that may make you feel bad. Then you are tip toeing around bridesmaids instead of them tip toeing around you.

The Council:
I am the type of bride that feels like it's a lot easier to toss ideas around a small council of people, make a decision myself, and then bring it to the masses for execution. When there are too many people stirring the pot, I get stressed out. I don't want to not have input, but as I've noticed when I see a menu with tons of options, the greater the selection, the longer it takes to make a decision. Sometimes too much input can be a bad thing, so for me, I found that I have a small bridal committee that helps me make decisions and do research, and a larger group that will take on the different assignments.

The Talent:
Everybody has something to bring to the table. Some may come boasting their skillset, others may not realize that they have much to contribute. It's important to know what each person in the bridal party is good at. Some people are better at making calls, some may be better at making playlists, and others may be good at making crafts. Tap into what people are good at and figure out how to positively use that in your wedding.

The bottom line is the wedding is about the bride...and the groom. Having the best support system during this fun, yet stressful time is key. Even if your support system is just your sister or your bff, the party should consist of whoever it takes to get things done and keep the bride sane.

Damask it is! (...I think...)

I've been trying to keep things simple. It's simply not working. With every planning step, there are so many mini-steps and things that need to be considered. I loved the idea of the love birds theme, and fun colors...but the more I try to stick to a not-so-common theme with hard to find bird stationary that i like and dresses that aren't quite the right shade of blue, grey, or purple, the more irritated I get. Then to try to find the right shade bridesmaid dress AND the style that I like...oh just forget about it.

SO...to keep it super simple (KISS)...I'm going with black and white damask pattern accented with baby blue. I've seen the theme a hundred times, and while I don't like the idea of doing what's been done time and time again, I like the thought of maintaining my sanity. There is damask EVERYWHERE and it always looks great! There are tons of free or inexpensive invitation and stationary items online. Black dresses for the bridal party make me feel a lot better than asking them to buy a sky blue getty-up that I'm sure nobody will ever wear again. And I've yet to see a damask event that I didn't like. Damask is also a great dramatic theme for a fall wedding. Grey, baby blue and purple is more springish I believe.

I am planning on using this free download for my invitations http://shop.mujka.ca/freebies/free-damask-wedding-invitation-set-black-version/prod_348.html. I mean FINALLY something is budget friendly in this operation! JEESH! I can use this for save the dates also. One stone. Two birds! YAY!

So...the best way to KISS is to ditch the complicated theme and go with what is easy, tried and true, and looks great.

Now I just need to figure out how to NOT spend $300 on pochette envelopes...

Bridesmaid Dresses: The endless search

So...the search for bridesmaid dresses has begun. I have seen many approaches to the bridesmaid dress over the years. The long, short, tight, loose, a-lined, two-piece, whimsy, formal, unique, off the rack, handmade...I've seen them all. The one thing I do NOT want to do is put my bridal party or myself through a bunch of rigamaroll.

The thought years ago was that having a seamstress sew all the dresses for the bridal party somehow comes out cheaper and nicer, because it's custom fitted for each girl. I've seen that turn out to be a nightmare. I don't know if pieces got mixed up or if measurements weren't taken accurately or what, but the end result was a frantic call to the seamstress in the 11th hour BEGGING her to high tail it to the church because NOBODY'S DRESS FIT!! We ended up having to safety pin here, and tuck there...and nobody probably noticed, but we knew and the bride knew and it was just enough to cause a little bit of additional stress on a day that stress already was a-plenty.

I have never been in a wedding where the price of the dress was outrageous, and I'd like to make sure the same is true for my wedding. I don't know how my cousin did it, but she managed to pick a nicely priced dress that I could definitely wear again, should I ever need a long black formal dress, and didnt' require me to get any alterations at all. I would like to do the same for my bridal party.

Here are a few dresses that I really like.