Damask it is! (...I think...)

I've been trying to keep things simple. It's simply not working. With every planning step, there are so many mini-steps and things that need to be considered. I loved the idea of the love birds theme, and fun colors...but the more I try to stick to a not-so-common theme with hard to find bird stationary that i like and dresses that aren't quite the right shade of blue, grey, or purple, the more irritated I get. Then to try to find the right shade bridesmaid dress AND the style that I like...oh just forget about it.

SO...to keep it super simple (KISS)...I'm going with black and white damask pattern accented with baby blue. I've seen the theme a hundred times, and while I don't like the idea of doing what's been done time and time again, I like the thought of maintaining my sanity. There is damask EVERYWHERE and it always looks great! There are tons of free or inexpensive invitation and stationary items online. Black dresses for the bridal party make me feel a lot better than asking them to buy a sky blue getty-up that I'm sure nobody will ever wear again. And I've yet to see a damask event that I didn't like. Damask is also a great dramatic theme for a fall wedding. Grey, baby blue and purple is more springish I believe.

I am planning on using this free download for my invitations http://shop.mujka.ca/freebies/free-damask-wedding-invitation-set-black-version/prod_348.html. I mean FINALLY something is budget friendly in this operation! JEESH! I can use this for save the dates also. One stone. Two birds! YAY!

So...the best way to KISS is to ditch the complicated theme and go with what is easy, tried and true, and looks great.

Now I just need to figure out how to NOT spend $300 on pochette envelopes...

Bridesmaid Dresses: The endless search

So...the search for bridesmaid dresses has begun. I have seen many approaches to the bridesmaid dress over the years. The long, short, tight, loose, a-lined, two-piece, whimsy, formal, unique, off the rack, handmade...I've seen them all. The one thing I do NOT want to do is put my bridal party or myself through a bunch of rigamaroll.

The thought years ago was that having a seamstress sew all the dresses for the bridal party somehow comes out cheaper and nicer, because it's custom fitted for each girl. I've seen that turn out to be a nightmare. I don't know if pieces got mixed up or if measurements weren't taken accurately or what, but the end result was a frantic call to the seamstress in the 11th hour BEGGING her to high tail it to the church because NOBODY'S DRESS FIT!! We ended up having to safety pin here, and tuck there...and nobody probably noticed, but we knew and the bride knew and it was just enough to cause a little bit of additional stress on a day that stress already was a-plenty.

I have never been in a wedding where the price of the dress was outrageous, and I'd like to make sure the same is true for my wedding. I don't know how my cousin did it, but she managed to pick a nicely priced dress that I could definitely wear again, should I ever need a long black formal dress, and didnt' require me to get any alterations at all. I would like to do the same for my bridal party.

Here are a few dresses that I really like.

Seneca Creek Lodge: Runner up for venue

First Runner Up (...for now...)

The Lodge at Seneca Creek!!

Here are some pictures of our outing to The Lodge at Seneca Creek in Boyds, MD. Unfortunately when we got there, nobody was there to let us in. There were actually caterers waiting outside had arrived to cater an event being held that day. They were hoping I could let them in and I was hoping they could let me in. It wasn't a good impression...

...the view is just spectacular...

...we made the best of it anyways...

...it started to rain

aunt and cousin under the umbrella...

...mom trying to get in the front...

...me trying to get in the back...

Rockwood Manor...more pictures

Here are a few more pictures of Rockwood Manor.

These can be found on Rockwood Manor's website at http://www.montgomeryparks.org/event_centers/index.shtm

...kissing along one of the paths on the property (not us!)...

...setup for a ceremony on the brick pation...

...picture of the gazebo and front of the manor,

another possible ceremony location...

...side entrance of the manor...

Rockwood Manor

AND THE WINNER (so far..) IS!!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My mother, aunt, cousin, and I headed out for a girls’ day to look at two wedding venues in Montgomery County. One, I knew was a long shot, and I was only going just so I could say I looked at it. The other, I swore was THE PLACE.

So we get to Rockwood Manor, the long shot, and I FELL IN LOVE! Lots of beautiful trees, plenty of parking, beautiful grounds, and a fantastic building! After doing the tour and seeing all of the space and options that the venue had to offer, I knew I’d be hard pressed to find a place that I loved more. Unfortunately, the price tag was far beyond what I anticipated paying for a venue.

When we got to The Lodge at Seneca Creek, aka THE PLACE, I just couldn’t get excited. Pair that with the fact that whoever was supposed to be there to give us the tour was NOT there, I was immediately OVER IT. Not to say that The Lodge at Seneca Creek was not beautiful, because it was. The grounds were encompassed by hills and hills of trees. The lawn was very well manicured, and I could just imagine the set up for the ceremony. But it was no Rockwood Manor. Seneca Creek was a “day-of” type venue. Get in early (the day before if you are lucky), set up, have ceremony, cut cake, dance, take down decorations, leave! And don’t forget to say many many prayers that it doesn’t rain. Rockwood Manor was a retreat-style venue. Arrive on Friday, mingle with relatives, have rehearsal and rehearsal dinner, decorate, play games, wake up the next day, get ready, have ceremony and reception, linger and mingle, and take down decorations and pack up on Sunday. Ahhh…wasn’t that nice…?

At Rockwood Manor, the Plan B options made me happy. At Seneca Creek, though I couldn’t get in, a peek through the windows let me realize that Plan B was probably going to be to squish inside the reception area and make it work.

Seneca Creek looked like it wasn’t quite handicap-friendly. It’s set on a huge hill. The ceremony would be down the hill on the grass, and the reception would be inside, up a lot of stairs, and it didn’t look like there was any way to get from one place to the other for people that were elderly or unable to walk. Rockwood Manor had lots of pathways that could facilitate a wheel chair, and also had an elevator inside.

Ultimately, I am leaning towards Rockwood Manor. I’ve tentatively reserved my dates and am doing some last minute re-budgeting and planning to make sure that I can use Rockwood Manor and still slide in within budget.

The Battle of the Budget

So…it’s looking like our less-than-$10k wedding is turning into more of a no-more-than-$12k wedding, which…I guess is still on the not-too-expensive side. And though I was dead set on not letting things get out of control, I feel like this increase is pretty justified.

I had two goals when I first started planning my wedding: (1) to be cost conscious and (2) to be stress-free. After a little vendor hunting and working out a few scenarios in my mind, I realized that these two goals may not quite go hand-in-hand like I initially thought.

Here are some of the issues I encountered:

• Many of the less expensive venues had strict capacity restrictions, which would have meant cutting a lot of people from my guest list, which would have led to stress.


• Or, some of the budget-friendly venues that I loved were fantastic for outdoor weddings, but didn’t really provide you with a good Plan B option, which would have led to stress.


• Another twist for the cost conscious venues was that these places offered their site at some great rental rate, BUT…you have to use their caterer, which had some outrageous per person rate that it would have eaten my entire budget.


• And finally, a lot of places would offer a low rate for renting the facility, but everything from chairs to linens to tents had to be handled by me, which meant the stress of coordinating set-up and take-down of these rental items AND an increase to the budget. One place even told me I would have had to hire a police officer to be on the premises if I served any alcohol.

From a time perspective, you can only have these facilities typically for a seven hour period, which included your decorating (unless they were flexible and didn’t include it in your time), your rehearsal (again…unless they were flexible), your ceremony, reception, and packing up. I can just imagine watching the clock and sweating bullets trying to make sure I stuck to the strict timeline so that I would avoid any fees, penalties, or forfeiture of my security deposit.

So, I had to weigh a lot of pros and cons when I discovered a place that I absolutely LOVED, that offered tons of flexibility, that even offered an overnight accommodations package, where I could have the rehearsal, rehearsal dinner, ceremony, and reception, and not have to watch the clock, for a price that was beyond what I budgeted for. It became a matter of budget versus stress, and it looks like stress won out. Especially since I think that in the end, the budget really won’t be blown all that much. A lot of things that I would have had to piece meal together at any other venue already come included with this one.

So I’m really excited, and it looks like my quirky, cheap, yet chic wedding may have taken a little twist.

Inspiration Everywhere

Well since I'm pretty sure I'm having an all-out wedding complete with rehearsal dinner, ceremony, reception, dj, liquor, and all that...I guess it's time to start giving some thought to colors, dresses, themes, etc. I know that blue is Duglas's favorite color, and since I'm often accused of being bossy and disregarding his opinions, I'm bound and determined to incorporate blue into the theme.

...flowers on the street...

I'll be honest...I'm not a humungous fan of blue. So finding the right shade will be a task. But I decided that I like baby blue / Tiffany blue as a wedding color and could build a theme around that color. I also saw a wedding somewhere...need to find where...and the men in the wedding had on heather gray suits. And now I need an accent color to fem this palette up. I laughed a big laugh when my sister-in-law-to-be suggested purple because it's her favorite color. But after giving it some thought...I realized that purple / fuschia is actually the perfect accent color.

As I look around for ideas, surf the net, look at color combinations of strangers walking down the street, I think about different ways to execute this color scheme. Here are a few things that have inspired me in the last few days.

...wedding at one of the venues that I'm considering...

...purple bouquet...

...flowers on the street...

...groomsmen in grey suits...

Location Scouting: Snowhill Manor, Laurel, MD

So it was time to start searching for wedding venues. I've been to, and been in, many weddings since my girlfriends first started getting married after college. So I've seen a wide range of options as far as location, theme, budgets, etc. Since I'm in the DC metropolitan area, of course the idea of a city wedding is an option. With Maryland being surrounded by the Potomac and Patuxent Rivers, the idea of a beach wedding on the Eastern Shore also springs to the top of the list. After considering some of the logistics involved like parking, driving distance, dealing with the Bay Bridge, lodging being more expensive for guests, and not being accessible to the local families' home bases, I decided against those options.

A couple years ago, my cousin got married in Charlotte, North Carolina. I LOVED that venue. It was private, charming, had a natural and rustic feeling, but was still very well manicured. The ceremony was outside on a tented patio, and the reception was inside in a small banquet room. The food was served buffet style, there wasn't a ton of hoopla and formality, yet it was still very nice, intimate, and perfect. The informal ambiance encouraged mingling and having a good time. There was also space outside for guests to walk around the lawns and for kids to run around and get out some of that pent up energy.

I loved the idea of an informal yet quaint location, so my thoughts were to try to duplicate the venue selection with my wedding. After some extensive and exhaustive internet searching, I found Snow Hill Manor in Laurel, Maryland. It is a Maryland historical site maintained by the Maryland National Park and Planning Commission (MNPPC). The rental rate was very attractive ($1,200 for 7 hours). The rental rate included access to inside the manor, which had four decorated rooms downstairs, and a bridal suite and groom suite upstairs, and it included the tented patio, the lawn and grounds, tables, and chairs for up to 120 guests.

When I visited Snow Hill Manor, I fell in love! When you first enter the property, you drive along a tree-lined dirt road. I could totally picture me and my sweetie walking down the path in our wedding attire or sneaking a (totally planned and photographed) kiss. The landscaping was beautiful and there was ample parking. When we walked into Snow Hill Manor, we loved the contemporary-meets-historic decor and feel. We could totally imagine getting married in the venue. It seemed very non-fussy, the staff was very nice, but ultimately, we decided against Snow Hill Manor (at least for now) because of the capacity requirements. We both come from rather large families that are close. The 120 maximum capacity INCLUDES those that are assisting you such as catering staff, photographers, DJ, etc. That left each of us basically only able to have 50 guests, and we knew, sadly, that Snow Hill Manor wouldn't work for us.

...back entrance and tent...

...some of the grounds...

...sidewalk to tent...

...view of grounds...

...stairway...

...bridal suite...

...bridal suite...

...groom dressing area...

Hashing Out Ideas

There are so many venues and ideas for weddings these days it can make your head spin. Do you want to get married in a church, in a yard, on a beach, in a museum, while sky diving, etc. And the options for a reception are just as numerous and just as widespread. Do you want a full sit-down catered affair at a reception hall? Do you want a barbeque at your house? Do you want a tea reception? Buffet style? Brunch? A wine and cheese affair? Just finger foods? Or just coffee and desserts? Do you want to elope? Fly off to vegas? Go to the Carribean? Or go to the local winery? The list of possibilities just goes on and on and on and on. And more than one of them may sound perfect for you.

The idea of a local elopement stuck around for quite a while. The thought of going somewhere with our 10 to 50 closest family members and friends (depending on the venue), saying our vows, just the two of us having a romantic dinner somewhere, and staying overnight in a hotel, and calling it a day sounded perfect. Places such as the Inn at Perry Cabin on the Eastern Shore (http://www.perrycabin.com/web/omic/weddings_st_michaels_maryland.jsp) offer such packages. The price range for a ceremony like this is around $1,000 to $2,000, once they add things like the mandatory second night hotel stay if you have your ceremony on a Saturday, or the chair rental if you have the ceremony by the gazebo. Perry Cabin can accommodate about 80 guests.

Another place that offers an intimate ceremony-only style wedding is Chase Court in Baltimore. Chase Court is a beautiful gothic-style ballroom and garden which can provide you with a quaint outdoor ceremony in their beautifully lavish garden, and great scenery for pictures. An elopement package at Chase Court provides you with a ceremony for up to 10 guests, flowers, photographs, and an officiant for $1,700. Add dinner and an overnight stay in a local hotel and the price will run about $2,000. See Chase Court's elopement packages at http://www.chasecourt.com/2Elopement-Packages.html.

But the thought of having to exclude some important people, or not being able to have a dance with my father, or possibly coordinating an additional party or event for guests that couldn't attend the nuptuals made me take this option off the table. Why pay for two events and why hurt feelings when I could just pay a little more and include all the people that I want to have around me on my special day. A lot of people say that the day is not about others, it's about the couple. But for some couples, the day isn't important if you ignore the important people in your that helped guide you to this point in your life. So while intimate is great, it's just not the right option for us.

I also loved the idea of having a ceremony in my parents' back yard. They have a house that sits on about an acre of land, my father keeps it beautifully manicured, and it is surrounded by trees. We are a pretty non-fussy couple, and we loved the idea of having a casually cute event that wouldn't be restrictive as by things such as the number of guests, catering rules, and strict event times. But on the other hand, the thought of piece mealing everything together, such as tables, chairs, cups, plates, candles, food, drinks, who's going to cook, decorations for inside, decorations for outside, set-up, taking down, parking, do we need porta-potties, etc., and I decided it would be worth it to pay just to have a majority of those things already handled. In the end, it'd probably cost the same amount of money, but my stress level would be elevated because I'd be handling so much on my own.

So this ultimately lead me to trying to find a reasonably priced venue where I could have the wedding and the reception for 150 of my closest friends and family. And thus, the venue search began.

Where on earth do I begin??

Once the fire was lit, I was ready to get started with my planning. My sweet girlfriend Sherri, who I love love love, has sent me various wedding blogs and ideas a few times a week over the last year, most of which I loved and swore I would incorporate into my wedding. But...all of these ideas for themes, favors, venues, invitation, cakes, decorations, gowns, etc., eventually started to just overwhelm me, which is exactly what I do NOT want.

First important attribute for wedding planning...FOCUS! There is no point in deciding on wedding favors when I have no venue, no bridal party, no dress, no caterer, no colors, no theme, no other solid ideas, and no real money to implement them if I did have them. So I set up a "wedding" folder in my email box and decided I'd look at her ideas again more thoroughly once I made some important decisions. While illuminated bags are an AWESOME idea...this probably isn't the best point in the planning process to be thinking about them.

The second important attribute that I learned, which I believe will be absolutely key for my wedding is to KISS -- KEEP IT SUPER SIMPLE! There are countless great ideas out there, but at the end of the day, there are only a few ideas and concepts that can actually make it into my wedding. And because this is all about D-I-Y and being budget-friendly, that limits the idea field even more. Add to that the fact that I want to be as stress-free as possible, and things are REALLY whittling down.

So I'm left with the list of things that are important:

• budget
• venue (which will be one of the largest contributors to the budget)
• guest list (which is ultimately determined by the venue)
• theme
• wedding party
• food

So those are the areas that I'm going to focus on. I also don't much care about the date, my only preference is for it to not be in the dead of winter or in the middle of summer. I prefer fall, so this gives me a LOT of planning time. My date will ultimately be decided by my venue selection and its availability. Decisions such as "what song will I walk down the aisle to"... are just not important at this stage in the game. Instead, I will spend my first month or two of planning devoted to the bulleted list above.

The Lengthy Engagement: He put a ring on it...now what??

We have been engaged for just over a year now. Though I’m excited about being married, the thought of wedding planning had me frozen with fear. We don’t have a huge pot of money to work with, and I knew that planning a wedding would be tedious, frustrating, costly, nerve wracking, and… did I mention tedious? lol.

I was never one of those girls that had the details of her wedding documented and tied up in a neat little binder waiting for Mr. Right to come along and pop the question. The proposal, though we’d talked about getting married, literally came out of left field. So in addition to being strapped financially, I felt completely overwhelmed by the idea and task of planning a wedding.

As the year went by, of course I was asked time and time again, when is the wedding. I’d see people at 4th of July cookouts, then at Christmas parties, and still not have any new updates for them regarding the wedding plans. Then FINALLY I just couldn’t take it any longer. There has GOT to be a way to plan a frugal wedding and still make it be an event I would look back on and cherish.

I’ve seen so many girlfriends and family members spend aaaaaalll this time and money on these dream weddings, only to see them stressed out, and sometimes disappointed, because one thing or another didn’t turn out quite how they expected. I’ve been to enough weddings to know what I liked, didn’t like, and never want to have happen to me when it’s my time to plan this special event.

I also am known as the do-it-yourself queen. I’m a jack of all crafts, and a master at none. But I like the idea of doing for free or for cheap the things that stores or other people will charge you an arm and a leg for.

So after a year of being engaged, and almost having to sedate my mother, I decided to get on the stick. Where there’s a will, and parents willing to put up a few dollars, there’s a way! And I’m going to find it!